17.10.1940 – 29.2.2024
On Friday 8 March, the local community came together to honour the life of Sid Smith, beloved husband of Cheryl Patterson.
Under the weeping Gleditsia tree Sid and Cheryl planted when they moved to Barrengarry almost 30 years ago, over 100 people gathered to hear the stories of Sid’s life, shared by those closest to him.
Sid was born Thomas Sidney Smith on 17 October 1940 to mother Nancye and father Thomas, who sadly died in the fall of Singapore not long after Sid’s first birthday. His lifelong friend Allyn Hicks recalled his early years and that his mother made sure he lacked for nothing. He became an outstanding sportsperson, a boxer and an A grade Rugby League player who commanded great respect as team captain
Sid had leadership qualities, even though outwardly he seemed a shy person, and was also elected School Captain at Beecroft Primary School, where his name still sits on the school notice board.
Everyone from the community who knew Sid would say he was a gentle, kind and softly spoken man whose preferred position was out of the spotlight, but on this special Friday he held centre stage, and the stories told shed a new light on his depth of character, as eulogies often do.
His children Yolande, Natasha and Bradley shared the fun times they had as kids, particularly trips to Fiji and his love of fancy dress. He also involved himself in their chosen sports – swimming, gymnastics and soccer. They revealed his career as an Aviation Maintenance Engineer with Qantas, which was very demanding on him and his young family. They all added regret with the lost years when their parents separated, but the rekindling after Cheryl and Sid got together and deeper family connections they had all made in the past ten years.
This love and connectedness between the families was evident in his final weeks, when Cheryl committed to granting Sid’s wish to care for him at home. With the palliative team support, Sid’s daughter Tash, Cheryl’s brother Ellis and sister Sandra became part of the team along with their children Anthony, Annie, Yolande and Brad when they were able. Surrounded by love, laughter, music and home cooking delivered by the community, Sid hung on.
Ellis shared the story of how Sid and Cheryl met, over the back fence in Beecroft where Cheryl lived with her three children and he, newly single, with his mother. With a shared interest in gardening and an ease of conversation, Cheryl felt friendship turned into love.
Annie said that she was two when Sid first came into their lives and he very quickly became Dad, if not in name, in every way that matters. She and Anthony painted the picture of a dedicated father who gave them his time, support and non-judgment. Their vivid childhood memories centre around the move to their first house in Kangaroo Valley and Sid’s transition from city to country life, typically with the right of passage that involved tractors and chainsaws, and then moving into a run-down farmhouse in Barrengarry, where they created their current home and garden.
They all acknowledged the support he gave to Cheryl when she wanted to study commercial cookery at TAFE and open Café Kangaroo in the Valley. Retired from Qantas, he took on the house husband role, along with some mowing jobs for locals, but it was the veggie garden that became his thing as some of his photos show.
While he grew the veggies, his sweet tooth preferred Cheryl’s incredible baking, and his instagram account beamed with pride at her mass production of perfect treats. Annie loved the memories of her ‘dates’ with Sid when she was young, to Cheryl’s café or the Barrengarry Store where they would have scrummies. Stories abounded about Sid’s secret stash of sweets that were kept in the shed, and the odd Maccas wrapper that was found in the car.
In those last days of Sid’s life, Anthony uncovered a trove of keepsakes, tangible treasures of his lifetime, and of his mother’s, including the war medals from a father he never knew. Cheryl recalled the trip they made to Europe with a side trip to Singapore, and the emotional visit to his father’s memorial.
It was amazing to watch in the weeks and days leading to Sid’s passing – a community of like-minded doers wanting to do whatever they could to show they cared. Weeding, harvesting, cooking, many people got on the mower, the whipper snipper and even the gurney, while others moved cattle for parking, got chairs, cups, urns, glasses and marquees in readiness for his memorial at home.
Sid hated the fog, and in that last week there was so much fog. But on the day he went, it was the last day of summer and the sky was clear at 6am. Anthony reckoned it was his final dad joke – leaving on the 29th of February.
Under that Gleditsia tree, Sid’s wicker coffin was swathed in flowers from gardens across the valley. His favourite music was played and his friend Allan Stone finished the service with a poignant poem, The Clay Pot, before everyone enjoyed a delicious spread made with love.
And as a guard of honour formed, Sid made his final trip down the driveway, Anthony giving him a motorbike escort while Annie gave him a little sweet scrummie for the journey.
Rest in peace Sid.
