Loneliness isn’t just a problem by itself, it is also the cause of other issues that we see in our society. Loneliness can lead to alcoholism and other forms of substance abuse, depression, behaviour difficulties in adolescents and children, excessive weight gain and weight loss and sadly even suicide. There are likely many causes of loneliness, but social theorists point to the increasing sense of alienation that many people experience, a perceived lack of meaning in life, and lack of identity, as being major contributory causes.
It is easy to think that loneliness only affects the elderly but a profound sense of lacking meaningful relationships can affect all of us and at any age. Loneliness can manifest itself as an intensely painful sense of exclusion, of being rejected by one’s family and friends, of not mattering to anyone, and of being worthless. It is accompanied by feelings of distress, restlessness and heightened self-concentration. At the same time there is a strong belief that everyone else is enjoying deep meaningful and satisfying friendships on all levels.
We are creatures that need relationships with others in order to thrive. The first thing in the Bible that was described as “not good” was man’s aloneness. It needs to be said that not all those who are alone are lonely and sometimes the most lonely place in the world is the crowded room. Loneliness does not come from being with or apart from others but stems from feelings of alienation, abandonment and being isolated from others.
The modern high value that is placed on being independent can feed into our becoming increasingly isolated from one another. The high pace of modern life also precludes the development of close, deep relationships that nurture and are rewarding in themselves. Being busy and productive has led to a tendency where relationships are seen as commodities and resources. Independence has led us to be wary of being dependent upon others. Fear of being used leads us to being unwilling to trust others.
There is no simple easy fix for the problem of loneliness that we may all experience at one time or another. I am not sure that governments, even with all their resources, are the right people to address the issue. One way of looking at loneliness is that it is a sense of being cut off from the community to which people feel they belong. If loneliness is feeling cut off from the community, then perhaps the solution to loneliness lies not with governments or individuals but with communities.
It does not surprise me that people in cities feel lonely more often than people in villages, yet even in our small village I suspect that there are many who feel isolated and lonely. If you are one of those who feels isolated, you are not alone. If you know someone who is experiencing loneliness, take the time to step into their world and invite them into yours. It can be as simple as a chat over the fence, a coffee in a café or a walk around the oval. If loneliness is a community problem then, as a community, let us all seek to reduce it.
Yours in Christ
Andrew
