Mum and I were discussing my 17-year-old brother’s recent completion of high school when she said “It’s weird because he never brought any friends from high school over at all.”
My parents’ place is a frequent drop-in point for my brother and his Kangaroo Valley friends, but they’d never met any of his high school ones. Regardless of the obvious barriers like distance and not having driver’s licences yet, my brother never expressed any desires to have them over.
I initially thought this was strange, but then remembered that I was the same. I only saw my school friends at school, and my Valley friends outside as they offered a social escape from the stresses of my academic life.
In speaking to others who grew up in Kangaroo Valley, I realised this was a pretty common experience. Many described how the formation of Valley friendships came organically, possessing an inherent sense of comfort that made them easier to maintain.
Ari Britton (20), who grew up in the Valley, describes his friendships within the local community.
“It’s stuff that we don’t even think about doing. There were times when we would ride our bikes to the Tallowa Dam lookouts. Or we’d go and watch the sunset and wouldn’t get back until dark…or spending the entire day at the river as a kid”, explains Britton, who attended Bomaderry High School.
“People from outside of the Valley don’t like doing the same sorts of things, so when I was hanging out with them, I was never really doing what I would have liked to do.”
Even the lengthy daily bus trip to school allowed us to stay connected. “It helped us maintain a level of intimacy that was hard to recreate”, Seren Johnson (22) reflected. “Even if you weren’t talking, you were stuck with the same people for an hour and a half every day.”
Valley kids also form strong friendships through the shared experience of growing up in a small town with limited entertainment.
“You were always thinking of how to not be bored”, explained Johnson, who attended Chevalier College. “You learnt to not rely on always having plans or stimulation around you.”
For Britton, the Valley offers endless opportunities for exploration, sparking a sense of naivety and excitement.
“You are doing stuff that no one else has done before, and I don’t think you get that if you’re living in a more populated area cause you’re always doing something that somebody else has already done. And when you’re doing stuff that no one else has done before it sparks that childish spirit and curiosity more than it would for kids in other places.”
And whilst high school friendships are often restricted to people equal in age, this is less prevalent amongst friendships formed in small towns.
As Britton describes, “Because there’s so many less people here, you don’t really think about age…sometimes there would be like an 8-year range between us.”
In fact, age separation is a fairly recent phenomenon. For 99% of the existence of humankind, humans lived in small hunting-gathering communities where same-age interactions were infrequent as there were not enough residents for age segregation. (Konner, 1972, cited in Graziano, 1978).
More recent research has shown that during childhood, mixed-age interaction fosters social and emotional development, language skills and complex thinking. This is because children of different ages may have varying ideas that they can share, broadening each other’s perspectives. (Community Early Learning Australia, 2023).
As someone who was itching to move to Sydney when I finished high school, I don’t wish to move back to Kangaroo Valley anytime soon. But I can absolutely say that growing up here gifted me with so many valuable connections that I continue to carry with me.
As Britton put it, “Growing up in the Valley was so good and when you share that experience with somebody, it’s so meaningful.”
Luka Russell
Luka Russell is the Voice’s first cadet journalist, and this is her first article for us. We hope it may encourage more young KV residents to express their opinions to us.
