Country Connection vs City Anonymity

One of little James’ favourite jobs to do; mowing the lawn with Dad.

Published 1st September 2024 By Luka Russell
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Last month, I went on a trip to Coffs Harbour with my boyfriend “M” and some of his family and it got me thinking about the differences in our family structures and upbringings. 

Growing up in the Sutherland Shire as the youngest of five kids, M was part of a pretty rowdy household. 

Whereas my family of four is evenly split between feminine and masculine energies, M has three brothers and one sister: a household made up of five males and two females including his parents.

He also has nine cousins on his mum’s side alone, some of whom I met in Coffs Harbour. I have four cousins altogether. Card games with upwards of 15 players can get chaotic, something I enjoyed most about the trip.

As a Sydneysider, M has always associated country life with a tight-knit, warm, welcoming community. In meeting some of my long-time Valley friends he immediately felt comfortable and thought everyone seemed very relaxed and stress-free.

When M first visited Kangaroo Valley it happened to be during the monthly karaoke weekend at the Friendly Inn so he insisted we went. He was eager to experience the Valley’s intimate sense of community and township.

“I personally enjoy familiarity, going to the same café every day, getting the same coffee order and seeing the same people. It’s nice to be remembered. It’s harder to build those bonds in the city,” M states.

He continues, “Because the odds of seeing certain people again in Sydney is so low, you’re less inclined to form a connection with people around you; whereas in a small town you’re bound to run into the same people, so you put more effort into knowing your neighbours.”

Unsurprisingly, one of the most exciting aspects of visiting the country for M was the regular appearances of various wildlife species. The first morning we were there, an echidna emerged from the bushes while we were eating breakfast.

“I’m jealous that you got to grow up surrounded by animals,” M says.

In discussing our childhoods further, M and I noted the differences in how we view our upbringings due to our differing locations.

“I take for granted having ready access to lots of different things, whereas you take for granted the ability of being able to more freely explore your own avenues of entertainment.”

He continues, “We still had natural areas to explore as kids, but many didn’t choose to or didn’t enjoy it because there was always something else to do.”

This reminded me of a point Seren Johnson made in my April article, “Hometown vs High School”, regarding how limited options for entertainment in the Valley forced us to get creative in passing the time. 

Occasionally M goes on a rural getaway to “the farm”, a holiday property owned by his friend’s family in Lower Portland, near Wisemans Ferry. It is “a place to escape the hustle and bustle of the city” for M and his two best friends, doing things such as archery, building campfires and other random projects that may raise alarms in urban settings.

Ideally, M wants to raise a family in the country. He is currently a roofer and a qualified plumber, working all around Sydney. “I like the idea of living and working in a rural area, but realistically it would be more difficult. Work is harder to find.” Having talked to my dad Simon Russell about his own struggles as a contractor in establishing his small-town business Rusmah Electromotive and Maintenance Services, I understand M’s doubts.

I’d want my future kids to grow up in a rural area, but I love the convenience of city life.  And whilst I’ve touched on how grateful I am for the people and experiences the Valley offered me growing up, admittedly I do enjoy my anonymity in Sydney. 

 

Luka Russell

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